In today’s world, where spiritual practices have become more mainstream and accessible, a new challenge has emerged—spiritual bypassing. This term, first coined by psychologist John Welwood in the 1980s, refers to the use of spiritual beliefs or practices to avoid facing uncomfortable emotions, unresolved wounds, or psychological issues. While spirituality is meant to lead us toward truth and self-awareness, spiritual bypassing can become a way to escape the very inner work that growth requires.
In this blog, we’ll explore what spiritual bypassing is, how to recognize it in yourself and others, and most importantly, how to deal with it in a compassionate and conscious way.
What Is Spiritual Bypassing?
Spiritual bypassing happens when individuals use spiritual ideas or practices to sidestep emotional work, avoid facing reality, or deny the shadow aspects of themselves. It often looks like:
Avoiding conflict under the guise of “good vibes only”
Dismissing anger or sadness as “low vibration”
Believing that love and light alone will solve deeply rooted issues
Denying personal or collective trauma in favor of “everything happens for a reason”
Using meditation or prayer to suppress rather than process emotions
While these behaviors may feel peaceful or enlightened on the surface, they can actually suppress healing and stunt true spiritual maturity.
Why Is Spiritual Bypassing Harmful?
At its core, spiritual bypassing prevents authentic growth. Here’s why it can be problematic:
1. Delays Healing
When we gloss over pain or trauma in the name of spirituality, we miss the opportunity to heal it. Pain needs to be acknowledged, felt, and integrated—not ignored.
2. Creates a False Sense of Enlightenment
People who engage in bypassing may believe they’ve reached a higher state of consciousness when in reality, they’ve just built a spiritual ego—one that separates rather than unites.
3. Leads to Emotional Suppression
Ignoring or denying emotions doesn’t make them disappear. Instead, they get buried and can resurface as anxiety, depression, or physical illness.
4. Fuels Judgment and Shame
People might shame others (or themselves) for not being “spiritual enough,” which can lead to feelings of inadequacy, especially in vulnerable or struggling individuals.
Common Signs You Might Be Spiritually Bypassing
It’s not always easy to recognize spiritual bypassing in ourselves. Here are some signs to reflect on:
You avoid conflict at all costs, even when it’s necessary
You believe anger or sadness is inherently bad
You use spiritual terms to explain everything, avoiding personal accountability
You judge others who seem “less evolved”
You rush to forgiveness without feeling the hurt
You constantly seek positive experiences and avoid discomfort
You dismiss systemic issues (racism, poverty, injustice) with spiritual platitudes
How to Deal With Spiritual Bypassing
The good news? Spiritual bypassing is not a permanent state. It’s a common stage in spiritual development, and recognizing it is the first step toward genuine growth. Here’s how to move beyond it:
1. Acknowledge the Bypass
Admitting that you’ve used spirituality to avoid pain is a courageous and powerful first step. There’s no need to beat yourself up—many well-meaning people fall into this pattern. Recognize it with compassion and curiosity.
Ask yourself:
What emotions or issues am I trying to avoid?
Am I using spiritual ideas as a shield?
2. Reclaim Your Emotions
Instead of labeling emotions as “negative,” understand that they are messages from your inner world. Anger can point to boundaries being crossed. Sadness might indicate loss or a need for healing.
Try:
Journaling about how you really feel—without censoring yourself
Allowing yourself to cry, shout, or feel deeply without judgment
Talking with a trusted friend or therapist
3. Do Shadow Work
Shadow work is the practice of exploring the unconscious parts of yourself—the traits, memories, or emotions you’ve disowned. This is the opposite of bypassing, and it’s essential for real spiritual growth.
Start by asking:
What traits in others trigger me?
What do I deny in myself that might be true?
What parts of myself do I feel ashamed of?
Shadow work can be intense, so go gently. Books like “The Shadow Effect” or guided workshops can be helpful resources.
4. Seek Balance in Your Practice
A balanced spiritual path includes both the light and the dark, the joy and the pain. Aim for a practice that nurtures wholeness rather than perfection.
Incorporate:
Grounding practices like breathwork, prayer, yoga, or walking in nature
Emotional processing tools like therapy or somatic work
Honest self-reflection rather than constant affirmation
5. Stay Open to Feedback
Sometimes others can see our blind spots better than we can. If a trusted friend or teacher gently points out your tendency to bypass, listen with an open heart rather than defensiveness. Growth often comes through humility.
6. Engage in Inner and Outer Work
True spirituality addresses both the personal and the collective. While inner peace is important, it’s also essential to recognize and act upon the suffering in the world around us.
Instead of saying, “Everything is as it should be,” consider:
What actions can I take to create more justice and healing?
How can I show up with compassion in real, tangible ways?
Final Thoughts: Embracing Wholeness Over Perfection
Spiritual bypassing is not something to be ashamed of—it’s something to grow out of. It’s a sign that you care about inner peace and meaning, but it’s a call to go deeper. Real spiritual growth isn’t about escaping the human experience, but embracing it fully.
By facing your pain, owning your emotions, and integrating all parts of yourself—the light and the shadow—you walk the path of true awakening. And from that place, your spirituality becomes a tool for healing, not hiding.
What about you? Have you ever caught yourself spiritually bypassing? What helped you move through it? Share your thoughts in the comments below. Let’s grow together.
